Fucking Jerk ass brain.

youre perfect and small and horrifying.

its always been you,or youve always been there where it's supposed to fit.

but first it was him and i hated him

but then him and i didnt hate him

then her...and god knows i hated her.

and now this,its all my own fault.

not that me saying anything would've changed anything,it rarely does.

you polarize everything,i think of what i would do.

and it makes me think that all the stuff i think is important and most important

really isnt?

cause i'd ditch it,if you asked.

you polarize things in my head,you make things so fucking easy and clear..hypothetically of course.

its just like "Oh yeah,id blam and blam and blam..and then it would be us,and that would be great."

youre fucking great.

youre killing me here.

i love it.

but then it goes on.

what if you did?what if one day you just were there,smiling saying. "Yeah,its you."

then what? could i do that?

of course i could,but could i do it right? could i be enough?at least in my head could i provide what i know you deserve?

well no,probably not ever since i dont think its possible for anyone to give you what youre worth.

but could i even try? could i compete?

can i trust my feelings this time? its been years,but its been years without.

is it just the pool behind the fence?

i wrote another song about you/this today.

it doesnt even make sense.

blah.

youre perfect.

in everyway

im just hopeless.

whatever you want,just fucking smile,it keeps me breathing.